Life as a 40DDDDDDDDDDD
Glo's writer reveals what it's really like to have super-sized breasts.
By high school, I was a D-cup (Marilyn Monroe was a 36D). The boys in my classes never asked me out, as they assumed I was sexually experienced and either dating college boys or our high school principal.
And today, as a divorced woman of 55, my bra size is 40N—yes, N as in Nancy. (Queen Latifah was a 40F before downsizing to a 40E.) A quick lesson in bras: The number (34, 38, 40) is your band size: the distance around your ribcage. (Odd number? Round up to even.) The letter (B, C, N) is the cup size, which signifies how much larger your breast is than your ribcage. If your breasts are 1 inch larger than your ribcage, then you're an A. Two inches is a B, and so on up the alphabet. D is 4 inches. E (also known as DD) is 5 inches. F (DDD) is 6 inches. (Whom do the bra-sizers think they're fooling?)
My 40N (40DDDDDDDDDDD) means that my breasts are 14 inches larger than my ribcage. They are real: no silicone, no saline, no tucks, no tightening. There's no more natural perkiness—instead, the effects of gravity cause my heavy breasts to sag. (I tried to find a softer, prettier word than sag, but droop, flop, hanging and pendulous are hardly better.)
It has been years since I passed the pencil test (place a pencil underneath your naked breast and let the breast fall. If the pencil drops to the floor, then you can go braless. If not—not). I can put an entire keyboard under my breast. Probably a monitor and printer, too.
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