Nails Bite

I wasn't always so nail averse. During the mid-'90s, the pristinely manicured fingers of my New England college classmates (always polished a light, ballet slipper pink and clipped into perfect tiny crescents) briefly held me in their thrall. My friends and I came to refer to them as "rich girl nails," and though I dabbled in them briefly, they never looked quite right on a Doc Marten-wearing, middle-class gal from Virginia.

It's not that I'm against women spending time and money on their appearance—quite the opposite, in fact. I've always been crazy for cosmetics, and have experimented with dozens of out-there haircuts and colors. Vampy burgundy lips, '60s retro winged eyeliner, buzzed-to-the-skull locks—I've gleefully rocked them all.

But aesthetically, the payoff of a manicure never seemed worth the effort. Yes, my hands looked well groomed with red varnish tipping each finger, even when I did them myself. But unlike a glam lip color that ties an entire outfit together, or a blush that restores vibrancy to a dull complexion, nail color does little to enhance the look of hands—a body part that isn't usually the cause of much anxiety anyway. So I always think, why bother?

And, after doing an informal poll at a recent party, my suspicions that men don't even notice nails were confirmed. Great skin, pretty lipstick and long hair were among the beauty elements they named likely to add to a female's attractiveness. Not that the promise of wooing dudes is why women indulge in even half the beauty rituals they do—nor should it be. Nearly all my professional female friends say they get manicures to feel more pulled-together personally. "If my nails are done, then I feel in control" was the refrain I heard again and again.

I get it. I never leave the house without applying a swoosh of blush and brushing up my eyebrows. But there's a "trying too hard" element to perfectly polished nails that puts me off. Ever notice how some of the world's most effortlessly fashionable women—including Sarah Jessica Parker, Sofia Coppola and Charlotte Gainsbourg—more often than not sport short, unpolished nails, even to public events? Looking too spruced up, in my mind, always looks a little wrong.

How do "done" nails differ from the effort behind a smoky eye or a tangle of intricate braids? Buns, braids, eyeliner, lip color: They all look more modern, at least to me, when they're slightly imperfect—harnessing the charm of fresh-faced indie girls passing around a red Revlon lipstick in the car on the way to a seedy rock club (yes, every one of my romantic notions ends at a rock show). Manicured nails, on the other hand, look ghastly when they're messy.

And as a makeup devotee, I feel like I have to choose my hands or my face as a repository for my beauty efforts. A hot pink lip paired with high-octane nails definitely feels like too much. Like wearing horn-rimmed eyeglasses with huge doorknocker earrings.

Finally, the chemical smell of nail products has always turned me off. Most varnishes contain a bouquet of well-known toxins—and even the options that are toulene-, pthalate- and formaldehyde-free tend to make my nose itch.

Of course, high fashion has been bananas for edgy nails for several seasons. At the spring 2012 shows, we saw dagger-sharp "flesh extensions" (nail polish mixed with mineral makeup to match each model's skin tone), lattice-printed clear Lucite press-ons, reverse French manicures in jewel tones, and ombre-printed nails fading from black to electric blue, to name just a few offbeat looks.

"Nails are very much in the forefront of fashion right now," says celebrity manicurist and beauty mogul Deborah Lippmann. "I don't think all of the nail options that are available now would have worked at another time. We've seen some of these products in the past, but the time is right, so things that didn't work before are working now."

As Valley owner Nina Werman says, nails are "recession-proof." "Most women will still plunk down money for nails, even when they won't for clothes," explains the New York City salon owner. "You can be running around town in sweatpants, but if your nails are done, you look polished."

But to me, right or wrong, women running around in sweatpants with perfectly painted nails resonate as very "Jersey Shore"-style tacky. I grew up around girls who would get their nails "filled" every week after school and then complain about the fungus growing underneath their acrylics. So even when the aforementioned sweatsuit is James Perse, the look still doesn't appeal.

Werman, whose nail spot is a magnet for influential magazine editors in New York, chocks up the recent fervor for ostentatious talons to fashion's mercurial nature. "Nail art has been popular for decades," she says. "But in terms of having it be on a natural nail or a nail that's a natural length–that's something that wasn't being done. We've never had a lull in request for nail art, but we've certainly seen a broadening of the demographics in terms of girls asking for it."