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Predictions for "Girls" Season 3

  • Courtesy of HBO

    Remember the happily-ever-after finale of Girls season 2, when Marnie and Charlie reunited, and Adam rescued Hannah from herself? Yeah, that was just a ruse if the poster for season 3 is any indication. Based on our careful analysis of the image (which HBO says was inspired by the concept of "distressed princesses"), here are our predictions for what's to come:

    1. We already knew that the actor who plays Charlie quit the show back in April, so his absence is no surprise. But how will he be written out? Marnie looks too happy for him to have died or dumped her, so he's probably in South America finding himself. Or he moved to Queens.

    2. Shosh is trying way too hard to appear happy, a clear sign that she's overcompensating and secretly misses Ray. By the time she's willing to acknowledge her true feelings, he'll be dating a Ph.D. candidate in semiotics.

    3. Jessa, who looks predictably disheveled and distraught, will go to an ashram in Upstate New York, only to flee and find love with a nearby pig farmer.

    4. The excruciating Q-tip incident was Hannah's rock bottom and now she's taking charge of her life (note her straight-to-camera stare). She finished her book and heads to Los Angeles to meet with a hotshot producer about turning it into a TV show. As for Adam, although Hannah ended season 2 in his arms, that faraway look in his eyes doesn't bode well for their rekindled romance. He'll feel abandoned by Hannah and spend meaningless nights with random women he meets through Tinder. Of course, we'll have to wait for the Jan. 12 premiere to know for sure.

Predictions for "Girls" Season 3
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