• Cover: April 16, 2014
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Avoid the Wrath of Bridezillas

10 things never to say to brides

Page: 3 of 6
  • 4. "Are you sure you're ready to get married?"

    If you think a couple hasn't known each other long enough or is too young to marry, you may think saying this is helping them avoid a big mistake. But unless you're a close family member or friend with serious, substantiated concerns, it just sounds judgmental. "A lot of our friends married young, and people would say, 'Do you really want to do this now?'" says Keene. Remember that outsiders (that's you!) don't know better than the bride when it comes to her own relationship. "There are plenty of well-matched, happily married couples out there who dated for just a few months," says Naylor. So stick to more welcome topics, like asking about where they're going on the honeymoon.

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    5. "You should have a church wedding."

    While planning her wedding, Jean of New York City couldn't believe how many people pointed out anything that didn't fit their definition of a wedding. "One relative commented, 'You're not walking down the aisle to ‘Here Comes the Bride'? That's not traditional.' I was like, 'Who cares?'" she says. What was the norm when and where you got married may not be for others. For instance, 70 percent of couples married in a church in 1980; in 2009, only 35 percent did. "Remove the phrases 'You should…' or 'Why are you not…' from the conversation," says Keene. Statements like these sound like you think the bride has made the wrong choice, which puts her on the defensive. Instead, say, “An outdoor ceremony? That's so you!”

Avoid the Wrath of Bridezillas
10 things never to say to brides
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