10 Things Never to Say to Childless Friends
The questions and comments women without kids hate hearing
6. "Have you tried different sex positions/diets/doctors/wearing looser underwear?"
Recently, 30-year-old Hannah told a friend she was struggling with infertility—and immediately got advice on everything from nixing wheat from her diet to using nontoxic cleaning agents. "Her intentions were good, but I didn't need her to troubleshoot through my infertility woes," says Hannah. "I needed a listening ear or a hug." You can be kind and caring without being a know-it-all, says LeRoy. "It's OK to say, 'If you want me to connect you with a doctor or a friend who struggled to get pregnant, let me know.'" Otherwise, just let her vent.
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7. "Is your husband OK with you not wanting kids?"
A comment like this sounds like you're questioning your friend's marriage, says Carroll. "It's like you think your friend is depriving her husband of something he must automatically want," she adds. Angel, a fortysomething, childless-by-choice college administrator in Pennsylvania, frequently hears this. "I always respond that my husband and I made the decision together," she says. Best bet: Get a grip on your curiosity, and stay mum.
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