11 Signs He's Having An Affair

He's Changed

By Woman's Day

“A man who drastically alters his clothing style, appearance or body shape for no apparent reason may be having an affair. Perhaps the other woman has suggested he grow a beard, or use cologne. If he’s dressing differently for work, there may be a coworker he’s trying to impress,” says Danine Manette, private investigator and author of Ultimate Betrayal.

His Attitude Shifts

“Cheating creates a lot of internal turmoil and tension, which gets played out between the two of you. Plus, in order to cheat on someone, you have to be focused on what you don’t like about her. By making that loud and clear, he feels more justified in cheating and less guilty,” explains Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.

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He's Distant

"[This is] the number-one giveaway of infidelity, because it’s hard to be emotionally invested in two people at once and to be emotionally intimate with someone while you betray her trust ... Plus, distance creates a shield, protecting him from detection — if he doesn’t say much, he’s less likely to say something incriminating,” explains Oikle.

He Acts Guilty

He may shower you with affection and attention (giving you gifts for no reason, complimenting you frequently or helping around the house more), but diamonds and doing the dishes aren’t necessarily the signs of an uncharacteristically sweet husband — they could indicate a guilty one.

Secretive Behavior

“The computer screen changing when you walk into the room, hushed telephone conversations or calls taken outside, strange body language when in the company of the new gal at work, reluctance to take you places with him and his friends, and general unexplained behavior that feels suspicious, are all clues that your partner is straying,” says Manette.

You Rarely See Him

If he’s suddenly never around, he may really be busy at work or he may be busy with someone else. While he’s likely to have a wide range of plausible excuses for his new absentee status (he’s working a lot of overtime, he’s traveling for business, he’s training for a 10K), they could just be an attempt to cover up the fact that his extracurricular activities involve another woman.

He's Unreachable

Are you suddenly finding it hard to get in touch with your significant other? Is his mobile phone turned off during times you normally can reach him? Or maybe he says he has business meetings all night or a work conference all weekend, so don’t call him, he’ll call you? According to Tony DeLorenzo, owner of All State Investigations, if he’s frequently unavailable, it may be because he’s with someone else.

Your Gut Tells You Something's Up

If you think he’s acting strangely, hiding something or seeing someone else, don’t ignore your instincts. “A woman’s intuition is the best thing we go by in our business. She knows all of her man’s aches and pains, when he is mad, happy or lonely, and when he’s there in body but not in mind. She knows when something is not right,” says DeLorenzo.

He's Different In Bed

“Both more and less interest in sex can signal infidelity,” says Oikle. If he’s suddenly rebuffing your advances when he never turned you down before, he could be satisfying his sexual needs elsewhere.

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There's A New Woman

While you may assume no man would be stupid enough to actually bring up his mistress with his wife or girlfriend, many men do. “Sometimes cheaters take the strategy of being half truthful ... in some ways it’s less of a heavy burden if half of the cat is out of the bag. Plus, he may be thinking about this new person so much that he can’t help talking about her,” explains Oikle.

He's Defensive

“Why are you asking all these questions?” “Why do you care where I was?” “I was watching the game at Mark’s. If you don’t believe me, call him!” If these defenses sound familiar, your significant other could be up to no good.

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