8 Reasons to Let Go of Your Ex
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Axe Your Ex!1 of 9
Once upon a time, breakups meant saying goodbye and storing away your old love letters, but today's technology makes it almost impossible to completely keep you from regretfully browsing your ex's Facebook profile. Here are eight reasons to unfriend your ex and move on.
To Grieve2 of 9
Sadness, anger and regret are natural components of the grieving process, but it's hard to get past those feelings if you're fixated on your ex. "The main benefit of breaking up with an ex is to get rid of the emotional hold they may have on us," says YourTango Expert Mick Lolekonda. "Avoiding staying in touch during the healing phase is the best way to move on."
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To Be You3 of 9
Once your ex is completely out of your life, you'll find that he'll start receding from the forefront of your mind. Lolokenda says that keeping in touch "can slow down the healing process, which includes reacquainting oneself with our deepest relationship need, as well as becoming more centered and healthy for the next relationship."
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To Keep It Real4 of 9
Not only do we tend to idealize an ex, but we also overemphasize the importance of the relationship. "If you hold onto the past, you might put your ex on a pedestal that they don't deserve to be on," says YourTango Expert Julie Spira. "As a result, you're not completely open to a healthy new relationship when you haven't completely closed the door on the past."
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To Avoid Ex Sex5 of 9
Sex with an ex is familiar and easy, but in the same way that new relationships have a honeymoon stage, many reinvigorated relationships begin on a doomed high. "The relationship has a heightened sense of energy and sexuality, says YourTango Expert Mary Jo Rapini. “The excitement you feel will soon fade as old issues begin to surface again."
To Be Friends6 of 9
It's tempting to want to "just be friends," but doing so right away will keep you attached to your ex and will make it harder to heal. "I always recommend having some time immediately after a breakup with no communication at all," says YourTango Expert Amy Johnson. "You can always establish a friendship later if that's something you both want."
To Be Positive7 of 9
If you make every effort to stop including your ex in your daily life, "all of the negativity and complaints about your ex will not be a part of your daily vocabulary," Spira says. "Letting go of a bad relationship means you can start to think more positively about yourself."
To Find Love8 of 9
If you find yourself getting caught up in "he's the One" syndrome, keep in mind that "the One" would not break your heart so badly that it would ruin the relationship. "By staying in touch with your ex, you have one foot in and one foot out. It's not fair to the new person you might start dating when your excess baggage comes along on a date," says Spira.
To Grow9 of 9
Although you might start new hobbies to get over your ex, you may find that, in letting go of your ex, you've acquired a new passion. "Every union is an opportunity to experience love, grow as a person and learn,” says Johnson. “Keeping in touch after a breakup has nothing at all to do with any of those things."