How to Agree to Disagree

6. Home Is Where the TV Is

The Fight: I like to live in the living room. For me, hanging out at home is about sitting on the couch and reading, or at least sitting on the couch and pretending to read while I watch reality TV out of the corner of my eye. My girlfriend is fine with all that, but she also likes hanging out in the bedroom, reading or pretending to read while she plays video games on her phone. We get angry at each other when we don't agree on where to be.

The Fundamental Disagreement: I think this is just about what we're comfortable with. What we grew up with. For me, bed was always just for sleeping. Or, you know, "sleeping." For her, it was often a place to hang out. It's weird, but this one's really about values.

How We Deal: Obviously, we spend time in both places. But we've also tried to get better at spending time alone. This way, being in the other room stops being a sign that we don't like each other and starts being a way for us to do our own thing.