Caroline Rules

I think you have to give yourself permission to move forward with your life. Let go of any guilt you may be harboring regarding your marriage. Don't look at it as a failure—learn from the experience. Life goes on, and we all deserve to be happy.

Who cares if the person you meet has one of your ex-husband 's characteristics? The big question you need to ask yourself is: Is this a good trait or a bad trait? Let's face it—you married the guy, so there had to be some good things about him, and I'd imagine you have some good memories over those 20 years as well. Don't forget the good times; they are part of your story too.

You have to recognize that your life as you knew it has shifted—go with it. It's like buying a new pair of shoes: You have to break them in before you can walk comfortably in them.