12 Surprising Facts About Infidelity
Discover things you never knew about cheating that could save your marriage
Fact #8: A couple will never work it out when the husband is in the midst of an affair.
They could agree to work on things, but it won't matter. If he's still in the throes of a hot, new romance, nothing a woman does will drag him out of it. "He's got such positivity happening, without all the drama that exists in the established relationship," says Orlando. The marriage will likely fail, unless he decides on his own accord that life isn't better with the other woman. So the key is prevention. Continue to be the woman he first fell for throughout your marriage. "Women often turn from a loving girlfriend into a nagging wife. Men aren't attracted to that." Dole out compliments and surprise him with sex—don't just yell at him about that towel on the bathroom floor, suggests Dr. Mandel.
Fact #9: Affairs can sometimes fix a marriage.
Is infidelity the kiss of death for a couple? Not always. Although a new relationship is exciting, "an affair can rekindle the marriage," says Orlando. "Men realize who they want for the rest of their lives and that the new relationship isn't as perfect as they thought." But think hard before returning to a cheater. "Flings can highlight how little self-control someone has," explains Orlando. Still, if it was truly a one-time slip, it's possible to get back on track.
Fact #10: Even after rebuilding the marriage, a husband may still miss the affair.
Sadly, he might love his wife and want to salvage the marriage, but he doesn't totally forget about the affair. "He might miss the great things about the other woman—fun, zero responsibilities, sex, the rush or the chase—but oftentimes he misses how he feels about himself when he was with her, which is more damaging if he's trying to return to his marriage," says Orlando. Again, acting as you did when the relationship was new could help.
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