15 dating tricks for every age

In Your 20s

During my 20s, I dated most of, if not all, the eligible men of Manhattan. And some, not so eligible. Don’t do anything in your 20s that you will still have to think about in your 30s. Follow my logic: If 40 is the new 30, then naturally, 20 is the new 10. So have fun, play nice and expect some bruises and tears.

Date Globally

Michael Caine famously noted that there was a time in his career when he chose films solely by their location (hence the classic clunker, Blame It on Rio). A great way to see the world is to date people in different countries. Skype has done away with those pesky telephone bills, and your 20s are a perfect time to travel — before you reach an age when you want to have your own pillow at all times.

Be Prepared

When shacking up, don’t forget your toothbrush and dental floss. The embarrassment of packing a toothbrush in your purse—even if you don’t end up needing it—pales in comparison to the pain of a root canal down the road.

Click With Caution

Here’s a lesson from my teenage son who just had an eight-hour “relationship.” Once he was single again (according to his Facebook relationship status), all his “friends” knew it. Facebook is tantamount to taking out a newspaper ad, so think twice before spilling the details of your dating life online.

In Your 30s

At this stage, it may feel like you have less time to squander on dating because you have so much you want to accomplish. But this is also when that first notion of “for the long haul" may enter your mind. So although you’re busy, make time to take a look around and survey the field.

See The Red Flags

Anyone you are considering dating at this point has developed something of a personality, even if they are still becoming the person they were meant to be. I used to always date loners, because they seemed “cool and reserved.” But these are often warning signs for “aloof and indifferent.” Just saying.

IS HIS JOB A BIG RED FLAG?

Be Wary Of "Projects"

So he does this thing where he picks his teeth with the side of a credit card? I can live with that. So his apartment is decorated in early dorm room? I can fix it up. So he breaks dates at the last minute? Uh-oh. Men are not fixer-uppers or “houses with good bones.” Take a good hard look before you leap!

Listen Up

Meet his friends. You can learn a lot more from them than your date might divulge: “You’re the first woman he’s dated that we’ve ever met, and we’ve been friends for 20 years!“ Has he ever had a relationship? Hmmm… this might be a red flag.

In Your 40s

Congratulations! You know who you are and what you like. Or, if you don’t know exactly who you are yet, at least you know who you aren’t and what you don’t like. You’re ready to act quickly, because you trust your instincts, right? And, because you can keep busy with other things that matter to you. Remind yourself of that on a daily basis.

Think Fast

It may seem crazy that in such a short time—say, over a quick cup of coffee—you know whether or not you want to see someone again, but consider this: In Blink, Malcolm Gladwell posited that snap decisions are often as good as, if not better than, carefully planned and considered ones.

Widen The Pool

Go back to dating tip number one from your 20s and broaden your search. If you live in a small community, then you may have already dated or been married to anyone you find attractive. Visiting family across the country? Traveling a lot for work? Get dressed up for the plane ride. You never know.

In Your 50s

Look to fall in like, not necessarily in love. Keep an open mind about what kind of relationship you're seeking at this point in life. Love may supply us with a multitude of fever-pitch experiences and is a terrific prospect at any age, but a little low-intensity "like" can be fun, too.

Go Digital

If you decide to look for love (or like) online, then you'll inevitably find yourself writing a dating profile. This can be tricky. Your dog may be the cutest thing ever in an Easter bonnet, but posting this photo isn't always the best idea. (A man sees it and imagines you want to do the same thing to him.) Ask a close, objective pal for input.

Tell It Like It Is

Write about yourself carefully and accurately. The phrase “looking for some adventure” may get you an immediate response, but perhaps not the one you intended. If you really love adventures such as mountain climbing, spell it out—or be careful what you wish for.