Do You Need To Get Over Yourself?

3. You still blame the past for the present.

Renaye says that if you continue to use whatever happened in your childhood as the reason why your life is lousy now, then you have zero chance of being happy. "You can't change what happened, but you can change how you allow it to affect your life," she says. "Keeping the past alive gives you permission to not have to take responsibility for yourself and your life. Grow up and move on."

While the past can affect our experience of the present—especially when it comes to our self-esteem and perception of others—it's important to train yourself to break the patterns that have been instilled in you. "When you walk around expecting bad things to happen, you are begging someone to do something to make you feel bad," says Renaye. She recommends dealing with life head-on—and fearlessly—by trying to look at situations objectively, while also not taking the comments and opinions of others too personally. However, if people in your life are treating you poorly, then it's up to you to change your relationships with them. "If you people take advantage of you all the time, you are not a victim; you are a volunteer," says Renaye.