Do You Need To Get Over Yourself?
Signs You Need To Stop Complaining And Make A Change
4. You think that everything and everyone is at fault—except for you.
If you're the type who tends to complain about a major facet of your life, like your job, then it's time to get real, says Renaye. "Let's face it: Simply having any job today is a reason to be grateful, so start seeing it that way," she says. She suggests changing your attitude about your job and shifting how you interact with your co-workers to make the experience of going into the office each day more tolerable. "If you truly want out, do something about it," she says. "If you're not willing to do something to change the situation, keep quiet up about it."
Or perhaps you tend to focus on the changes other people need to make in order for you to be happy, rather than making changes to yourself. Do you find yourself saying, If only my husband/boyfriend/mother/boss would [fill in the blank], then everything would be OK? Renaye says that maybe it's time to realize that, no, it wouldn't. "If you are waiting for someone else to change so you can be happy, you're in for a long, miserable wait," she says. "Your happiness is your responsibility, and the sooner you accept that fact, the sooner you'll make choices that bring you happiness."
In fact, Renaye says that the easiest way to remain stuck and unhappy is to focus on how others need to fix themselves and their lives. "The only reason people do this is so they don't have to face their own issues," she explains. "And the only people who will tolerate chronic criticizers and complainers are, well, criticizers and complainers." If you find yourself continually finding fault in other people, then give it a rest, she says, and start being the person who you think everyone else ought to be.