Getting Over Post-Wedding Jitters
How to conquer your ten biggest marriage fears
2. "If I get sick, he won't be able to hold it together."
Traditionally, women are the caregivers, so not being able to perform that role is a legitimate fear. Use your concern as an "opportunity to make out living wills, which designate care in case of incapacitation," says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage. Or simply start a conversation on the topic. Dr. Tessina suggests something like: "I see Aunt Fanny needing so much care, and Uncle Fred struggling. I don't want us ever to be in that position. Let's talk about what happens if you or I get sick."
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3. "I don't want to end up like that couple."
Whether your friends are going through an ugly divorce, or you grew up in a home where fighting was the norm, it's hard not to wonder how those marriages deteriorated and fear it could happen to you. "Pay attention to the hazards so you can figure out what to do to avoid it," says Dr. Greer. For instance, if you're around a couple who belittles each other at a party, open up a discussion with your husband during which you pledge to always respect each other in front of others. "Put up safeguards so you don't slip into those behaviors," says Dr. Greer.
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