His Valentine's Day card decoded

Rock On

The Analysis: With no "I" anywhere in the card, he's distancing himself from the sentiment, and from you. He's saying, objectively, you rock, and that he's sure you'll make some other guy very, very happy, but it won't be him.

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Booty Time

The Analysis: The outside of the card says he's afraid of being hurt. He wants to keep things light, and avoid sentimentality. But the clarification on the inside beginning with "actually" is like a confession. He loves you, he feels vulnerable, and there ain't nothing he can do about it. Be gentle with him.

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Hi Yourself

The Analysis: This is the type of card you might expect from a male co-worker or friend who's testing the waters. He has feelings for you, but he's keeping things intentionally vague to see how you'll react.

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Half-Hearted?

The Analysis: We can respect a guy not being into the whole "Valentine" thing, but his cynicism could be a sign that he has a hard time expressing his emotions. Still, the fact that he got you a card at all shows that he cares enough to make at least a modicum of effort.

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Like It or Not

The Analysis: Note the use of "so" and "really." He's not just in like, he's so in like. And he's not just glad you're his Valentine, he's really glad. So what that he didn't say love? He might just need a little encouragement.

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Seeing Red

The Analysis: Love-filled? If this is the most affection a guy can muster, then it might be time to move on. The only excuse for giving you a card this generic is that he didn't want the card's text to compete with the heartfelt message he has written inside.

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Party Line

The Analysis: Points for candor and the needlepoint lettering is a quaint touch. If a man sends you this card, then hopefully you've been with him long enough to appreciate its humor.

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Won Over

The Analysis: While simply being told that you're awesome would be on par with being told that "you rock," this card succeeds where the previous one failed. You're not just awesome, you're "the single most awesome thing." What's more, you've "happened" to someone, caused some shift in another person, more significant than anything else. Hopefully, you feel the same way.

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Searching for the perfect V-Day card? See more funny, sincere and straightforward options here.