How I Make My Marriage Work

"I vacation by myself."

Krasnow, who's also a journalism professor at American University in Washington, D.C., has spent the last ten summer vacations apart from her husband. When the couple's four boys were younger, she was a counselor at the summer camp they went to, leaving her husband, Chuck, home alone and building furniture in his workshop. "He doesn't like summer camp, and I love it—the trees, the hiking, the crisp mountain air," she says. Krasnow believes most women would benefit from following their own passions, even if those interests take them away from their husbands for short periods of time. "It drives me crazy when someone says, 'Oh, I'd love to go to the Greek Islands, but my husband doesn't want to.' I always say, 'Go! It's OK to vacation by yourself.'"

In fact, for the past two summers, Krasnow has traveled to the West Coast for a three-week writer's retreat, and cherished the time she spent alone. "I actually believe that aloneness can enhance true intimacy with another, because you get to know yourself better," she says. "Self-exploration leads to growth for you, and that renewal fuels the growth of your marriage." Don't have three weeks? Take a three-day getaway with your girlfriends or a daytrip to a museum or nearby town that you've always wanted to see. You'll be fulfilled, your husband won't be cranky about having to go somewhere he doesn't want to, and you'll both have something new to share when you get home.

ON WOMAN'S DAY: 9 Things You Didn't Know About Dreams

"We have our own bedrooms."

Susan Schenck, 55, has been with her husband for 17 years—and has happily had her own bedroom for 16. The main reason? The couple couldn't be more opposite when it comes to their sleep habits. "He snores while I toss and turn, so we disrupt each other's sleep," says Schnek. "He also requires a soft mattress due to a back injury and, to me, it feels like we're sleeping on a marshmallow! Plus, we go to bed and get up at completely different times; I like being able to read in bed at night, and the light would disturb him."

Schnek says that if they didn't have separate bedrooms, then their relationship would suffer. "If we don't get enough sleep, then we're cranky, and we fight a lot more often," she says. And the arrangement actually adds an element of spice to their marriage. "It's exciting when he sneaks in my room to cuddle at night," she says. "And since we cuddle less than we would if we slept together, we appreciate it more—it's sweeter." If your hubby's snoring, tossing and turning, sleeping odd hours or doing any other disturbing habit that's keeping you from catching some much-needed zzz's, then why not camp out in the guest room a couple nights a week? You may find that when you're well rested, you're also a much happier wife.

ON WOMAN'S DAY: Getting Past the Same Old Fights

"We live in separate cities."

Due to the tough economy, Gabby Jenkins*, 39, is unable to leave her job in Los Angeles to be with her husband, Todd, 45, who's finishing school in San Diego—but that suits her just fine. "We married later in life, and I had already lived on my own for many years," she says. "Moving in with someone would be a hard adjustment for me." The two commute to see each other on weekends, like they did when they were courting. Although she misses him during the week, Jenkins sees a silver lining: "I secretly love living apart," she says. "I never have to tell him to pick up his socks, watch history or sci-fi TV shows on a continuous loop, or listen to his weird folk music."

"We live in two different houses in the same neighborhood."

When 39-year-old therapist Lisa Haisha got engaged to her now-husband, they began looking for a house together. "We found one that we loved, bought it, and I began moving my stuff in," she says. But the couple soon realized that the house was much smaller than it looked. By the time Haisha had finished moving in, there was no room left for her husband's belongings. "I had been looking for a place to hold workshops, so we decided that this house would be perfect—it could be both my home and office."

Her Hollywood producer husband moved into his own house four blocks away, and the two see each other nearly every night and on weekends, and spend the night together about once a week. "We hang out at my house or his house, and we value quality," she says. The two also have a 3-year-old daughter who lives at Lisa's house. "Traditional marriage doesn't work for us," she says. "We're very independent people, but we always have each others' backs." While you might not be able to run out and buy your own house, you and your husband can still carve out your own personal spaces—even if it's just an armchair in the corner of your bedroom where you can curl up with a good book.

"I have a male best friend."

When a husband and wife have jobs that require extended amounts of travel, they can lose the intimacy and companionship that comes from everyday contact. Jennifer Diliberto*, 54, found a way to make up for it: Eight years ago, she met Jim, a man in the same business circles, whose travel path often crosses with hers. "At first, I saw him as just a business colleague," she says. "And then I realized how much fun he was, and that I really liked being around him."

Over the years, a platonic bond formed, and the two found themselves enjoying each other's company—professionally and personally. "We stay in touch over email and Skype, and when we travel to the same place, we have dinner or go hiking or for a bike ride," she says. "I love my husband … [but he] isn't super-engaged with me. Work is definitely his priority, and that's OK—I knew who he was when I married him. I love him very much, but there's definitely that part of our relationship that's lacking." Her friendship with Jim helps satisfy her need for companionship and, rather than come between she and her husband—who knows about and supports the friendship—it helps keep their marriage strong. "Spending time with Jim makes me a happier woman and a better wife," she says.