Signs Your Man Belongs On MTV's Jersey Shore

He's Gym-Obsessed

Any guy who’s beyond vigilant about his strength training regimen, considers Creatine powder a meal and is fanatic about taking supplements — without being a professional athlete — has way too much testosterone (and chemicals) pumping through his veins for us.

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He's Hair-Obsessed

Combine copious amounts of hair gel with a high-powered blow-dryer, and a man rife with misplaced ambition, and you can bet you'll be late for your dinner reservation while he's perfecting every product-covered spike of hair. Though, we do give Jersey Shore's Pauly D props for having a sense of humor about his signature locks. (This video shows how he gets his look.)

When He Does Wear A Shirt, It's BeDazzled

While we're all for accessorizing, rhinestones aren't exactly what we have in mind for our man-of-choice's accoutrements. And, not gonna lie, an Ed Hardy-filled wardrobe totally reeks of Jon Gosselin.

He's A Maniac, Maniac On The Floor

What’s the harm of drawing a crowd with some dance moves? Um, when said crowd has gathered out of morbid fascination with your man's “beating of the beat.” This behavior is occasionally funny when in jest, but frightening when in earnest. You don’t want to be there when your guy’s dancing like he’s never danced before.

He Thinks He's God's Gift To Women

He spits lines at any girl he sees and constantly informs you which ones he could be getting with … you know, if you weren’t lucky enough to snag him first. We say, best to throw this fish back in the sea.

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He Fist-Pumps

There’s nothing wrong with a guy who’s enthusiastic, or, well, “pumped.” But if he habitually punctuates his sentences with fist pumps, you may not want to play second fiddle to his over-the-top hand gestures. (We do have to admit that the fist pump can show off those well-toned biceps quite nicely.)

He Fist-Fights

There's nothing wrong with being tough, and — believe us — we want a man who can stand up for his lady, his family and himself. But if he throws bows for no reason, or eggs other guys on just so he can show that he's macho, he may need to get his anger in check.

He's Orange ... Literally

A deep tan in January is not normal, and neither is the guy who insists on having one. If his life goal is to own a personal tanning bed, you may want to sneak out of his actual bed — this guy could be one short step away from calf implants. (Shudder …)

He Names His Abs

This is just ridiculous. (Though, we did have fun making up our own Jersey Shore-inspired nicknames on this website.) While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with dating a guy with manly muscles and a flawless tan, don't let his “situation” distract you from the situation.

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He Loves Himself A Little Too Much

Self-confidence is definitely an attractive trait for a guy to have. Self-obsession is not. If his need to fit the part of stereotypical Jersey boy overrides your need for affection and attention, he may not have enough room in his life to love anyone other than himself.

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