Why He's Afraid to Say "I Do"
8 things that terrify men when it comes to marriage
6. You won't have things in common anymore.
Chances are, you shared an interest that brought you together, and he doesn't want you to give up that part of yourself. Orlov references an old saying: "Women marry men in hopes they'll change, while men marry women in hopes they won't change." Knowing this, ask yourself what may be different about yourself since you got married. If you once loved running, why don't you do it anymore? Because other obligations in your life are keeping you from it? Because it's hard to keep up with your partner? Then, remember how much you enjoy your shared interests and push past resistance to do it again every once in a while, advises Orlov. The benefit of reconnecting with your husband outweighs the time and effort it'll take to make it happen.
7. You'll try to change him.
Just as he fears losing the bond that first brought you together, he doesn't want you to change who he is now. "What you see is what you get" is a line that Dr. Sheman often uses with her clients. She explains that when you first date each other, you put your best foot forward, and when you relax, every trait comes out more. "A lot of women feel that they can change a man, and men rightfully resent that." But there are issues, like smoking, drinking and relying too much on his mother (which is all too common!), that warrant addressing. When suggesting changes, "come at him gently and lovingly," recommends Dr. Sherman. "If you go after him with what you don't like, it's sure to backfire." And don't hesitate to seek professional help for those larger problems.
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