Must Be Nice…

"Does your husband give you an allowance from his paycheck?"

Unless a stay-at-home mom views herself as a salaried employee of her husband's (unlikely!), this comment isn't going to go over well. And it's common for the woman to be in charge of the budget and bank account, whether or not she's contributing funds. "We've always had a joint checking account, even when we first lived together," says stay-at-home mom Rachel of Albany, N.Y. "Now, I pay all the bills, do all the grocery shopping, and decide when the big purchases can be made. If anything, he asks me for money!"

Of course, not all relationships work that way. When it comes time for a couple to negotiate how money is spent, some non-working women feel they've sacrificed some of their decision-making clout. "Lack of financial independence can be scary, especially for a woman who worked hard to be financially independent in the first place," says Steiner. Either way, it's wise not to pry unless you're a good enough friend to broach such a touchy topic.