Secrets & Lies

Secrets & Lies About How Your Spouse Looks

He says: If you're early on in what you think might be a long-term relationship, then you want to start preparing for this now: Practice an impassive facial expression that gives nothing away, which you can perfect over time, so when your spouse says, "Do I look heavier to you?" you'll be able to deadpan, "No, you don't—at least not to me." Also, never tell her a woman that she looks like her mother. Don't even tell her she looks like her mother when her mom was younger, or a teenager, or even an infant. Not unless her mother is Cindy Crawford, Elle Macpherson or Christy Turlington.

She says: There's no need to remind your husband of how different he looks now than when you married him—that's what mirrors are for. No need to tell him that he's graying more than he realizes in the back of his head—that's what hairdressers are for.

He says: One time, Annabelle blurted out that my face had gotten fatter because she thought that I'd noticed already. She also informed me that I now have a gut, which she figured, again, was common knowledge. Granted, she looked really stricken when she realized that these things had gone unnoticed by me, but trying to take back these kinds of observations is extremely difficult.