Questions to ask before you move in together
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I have consistently taken a fatalistic "why not?" approach to cohabitation. I figured that if a relationship was meant to be, then moving in together wouldn't undermine that. And if it wasn't meant to be, then moving in together would bring about the inevitable end that much sooner.
But after two failed attempts at cohabitation, I realize there are a couple of flaws to that way of thinking: 1. A relationship shouldn't be seen as a race against time. 2. Even if there is some small degree of truth to my "meant to be" theory of living together, it offers very little comfort when you're packing up your things, searching for a new place to live and wondering why you ever gave up your charming apartment with the high ceilings and crown molding.
I've been dating my current boyfriend for a year now, which puts me back at the threshold, both literally and figuratively. This time, I'm much more wary of officially shacking up. After all, I'm not 25 anymore. (I'm not even 30 anymore. Heck, I'm closer to 40 than 30. There, I said it.) "Why not?" is no longer the question. Instead, there are real questions—not rhetorical ones. I don't want to back into cohabitation—"sliding, not deciding," as the researchers say. To that end, here, in no particular order of importance, are the questions to ask (yourself and your partner) before becoming roomies.