Look Out Below

All right, ladies, what is the deal?

We've heard of various vagina "improvements" for years. There's the ever-popular, and fairly simple, Brazilian wax, and then there's a more complicated treatment like the shaping of one's down-there hair into a heart or your guy's initials and then dying it a color. I'm not exactly sure why one would choose this latter option, or what kind of man it's supposed to please, but I suppose if I were an '80s punk-rocker, or just living in the '80s in general, I might try it. (And I don't know why nether-region-hair-coloring screams '80s to me ... but I digress.)

More recently, a new type of below-the-belt decor came on the scene: vajazzling. This involves taking something seemingly mundane — your private parts — and spicing it up with some snazzy glued-on gems. The concept is similar to the BeDazzler many of us, myself included, had as young girls with which we were supposed to take a plain t-shirt and make it awesome by covering it haphazardly in rhinestones.

Not only does vajazzling seem rather, well, pointless — mainly in the sense that if the point of rhinestoning one's ladyparts is to please one's man, and most men are just happy to see us naked at all (and would most likely take a quick look at our vajazzled-ness, shrug and get back down to business) — but it is no longer the newest vaginal enhancement procedure in town.

Yes, we have come to a new frontier of genital embellishment ... with the twattoo. Instead of gluing rhinestones to your most intimate body part, why not get someone to repeatedly stick a needle in it and permanently ink yourself so your vagina can bloom to it's fully unintended, unnatural beauty?

Permanent ink too much for you? Not to worry! You can get a temporary twattoo instead, which mimics the classiness of having a tattooed vagina, but without all the pain. Score!

I hope I'm not alone in thinking that this below-the-belt decoration is getting a little over-the-top. We can now shave, wax, dye, trim, pierce, tattoo and cover our nether regions in rhinestones. (Or pay someone to do it for us.) What's next? (I'm not sure I actually want to know.)

We need to just say no, in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with grooming, or doing a little "woman-scaping" (if you will). But the twattoo, like the vajazzle that preceded it, is going a bit too far. What say you?

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