Teen Scream

The "Treat Me Like A Grown-Up" Fight

The Situation: Teen wants to go away for spring break. Parents say no. Teen thinks he is being treated like a child.

What's Really Going On: Most fights during the teen years are actually based in this "treat me like a grown-up" motivation. The earlier you can catch and address it, the better it will be. This feeling derives from the fundamental pulling-away that comes with a teen trying to assert his independence.

How To Solve It: A great way to help teenagers get less upset in fights surrounding their maturity is for parents to help teens feel mature in other ways. Also, it is very important for parents to discuss the real reasons behind their decisions. For example, perhaps parents do not want their teen going away for the whole spring break because they want to have family time. In this case, a parent should clearly say, "We really want to have family time with you, but we know you are getting older, so how about you do a weekend camping trip with your friends instead?" This teaches the teen that you trust him, but that it's important to compromise and balance each other's your needs.