The Art of Seduction

The Scenario

You're at a bar waiting for a friend when a single man sitting a few seats over offers to buy you a drink. He's not your type and you don't want to lead him on, but at the same time, your friend is running late, and he seems normal enough.

Seductive Solution

Accepting a drink from someone doesn't mean your time spent together has to last any longer than it takes to finish off the glass. Just a few small gestures can indicate that you're thankful, but just not that into him. "Look at him in the eyes when you smile, and don't show your teeth," advises Weldon. "Then touch a non-suggestive part of your body—an ear, your hair—and release it. Holding on indicates sexual interest, but letting go merely transmits curiosity."

The Scenario

You're at the airport, running to catch your flight. You've got an overstuffed purse balanced on one arm and your coat on the other as you drag a suitcase just small enough to be a carry-on. Just as you're about to have a meltdown, you spot an able-bodied man headed in your direction.

Seductive Solution

Make eye contact with the stranger and then look back at your luggage. A simple, "please" will likely communicate your request. "Be open and be appreciative about the fact that you're asking for a favor," says Wheldon. If the man tries to get too friendly, slyly drop the b-word: boyfriend.

The Scenario

You get so caught up singing along to "All the Single Ladies" that you don't realize you're cruising way above the speed limit until a cop pulls you over.

Seductive Solution

You don't have to pay for every mistake with the worst possible penalty. "Don't argue with the officer, and don't flirt," Weldon advises. "Chances are, he'll avoid eye contact with you, so put your fingers somewhere where he can see them, and hold them still. If you move your fingers, you're indicating anxiety or annoyance. If you keep them still, it means you're waiting." A little patience, assures Weldon, can go a long way. "If you're calm, he may decide not to give you a ticket."

The Scenario

You're at a vintage shop and see a purse you love, but it's more than you want to pay. You hate to haggle, although this is one purchase you really don't want to miss out on.

Seductive Solution

Weldon advises looking at the purse instead of the salesman as you approach. "Then breathe slowly, and don't say anything. Hold the breath, and repeat. The person will mimic your breathing pattern, and it will make them calmer," he says. Ask if there's room to negotiate on the price. Make him feel like he has the power. Most people like to be perceived as magnanimous. If he feels like it's his decision to make, then he's more likely to be flexible on the price.

The Scenario

You're headed to a meeting with a bunch of alpha males at your company. You know from past meetings that they tend to tell inside jokes, talk over you and dismiss your opinions.

Seductive Solution

"Pre-check yourself in the bathroom mirror before you walk into the room, and make sure everything you'd normally check is in line," advises Weldon. "If you look secure, everyone else will be intimidated." And, don't look at your cell phone. "Touching your phone makes you seem insecure and not present," she explains.

The Scenario

You know your boyfriend's best female friend doesn't like you. You've tried to make conversation with her, but her answers are always short and brusque.

Seductive Solution

"Find something that you like that she's wearing, and compliment her on it," says Weldon. "As you compliment, touch your face or hair in a non-sexual way, to express curiosity." But what if the girl thinks you're coming on to her? "Just because you're flirting with her doesn't mean you're sexually interested. You're just telling her you want her to like you."

The Scenario

Your girlfriends are always complaining that they want to know your fiancé better. It's not that he doesn't want to hang out with them, it's just that… well, to be honest, he'd rather watch football.

The Scenario

You're on your bike, and you feel your phone ring in your pocket. Normally, you wouldn't answer it, but you're waiting for a call about a potential job offer. Just as you're pulling over to answer it, BAM! You hit a middle-aged man with your front tire… albeit at 2 mph.

Seductive Solution

"Once you ascertain that he's OK, say that he looks really familiar," advises Weldon. "If he thinks you might know him from somewhere, he'll be more cautious about behaving aggressively."

The Scenario

You're riding the metro home, exhausted from a long day of work, and feel like you might be coming down with something. If you have to stand for another second, you're afraid you might collapse, but there's not a free seat in sight.

Seductive Solution

"I would avoid touching a stranger to get his or her attention," warns Weldon. "Find a man in the car who doesn't have his eyes closed, and make eye contact. " When you catch his gaze smile weakly but sympathetically, and then readjust the purse on your shoulder. Hopefully, he'll pick up on the gesture and offer his seat.

SHOP NOW: The Burlesque Handbook by Jo Weldon, $14