10 Unspoken Marriage Rules

4. Don't take charge all the time.

Whether you fold all the laundry because you don't like how your husband does it or you manage the finances because you don't think he's as careful, you may feel more at ease doing all the work. But stop! "The spouse who does the rescuing can become tired of that role," says Dr. Wish—and resentful that everything is on her shoulders, even if she volunteered for that burden. Get in the habit of asking your partner, "What do you think works best here?" or telling him, "I could use a hand cleaning out the pantry." These requests will foster the idea that you're teammates.

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5. Don't bring up past arguments.

Or at least put a statute of limitations on them. “People repeat ancient disagreements because they haven't resolved the problem," says Dr. Castaldo. Letting things fester often causes marriages to break down, she says. It's important to address issues as they happen and come to some sort of a resolution—agreeing to disagree counts. “Leave it there, and respect each other's opinion," she says.