Vow of Silence

"Don't worry. It'll be fine."

Shelly still feels the sting of friends' trite platitudes when her mother was terminally ill, because, of course, things weren't fine. In situations like this, your friend might be worried for good reason, so saying Don't worry is dismissive, explains Melton. Instead, use your judgment based on the situation. In some cases, saying It'll be fine in a loving, sincere way can show your compassion, says Glass. But much of the time, it's better to use words that show your friend that you feel her pain, that you're pulling for her, and that you may not know what it's like to, say, lose your mother, but you're in her corner as she goes through the worst of it. A simple I'm here if you need me goes a long way, especially if you follow that up with concrete ways to help her through her rough time, whether that's picking up her kids from soccer, bringing over dinner, or just sharing some wine and company.

*Name has been changed