Watch Your Mouth
Things You Should Never Say to a Divorcing Friend
"But he seemed like such a nice guy!"
Or, as Maria* heard from a friend after her divorce, "I feel sorry for your ex-husband." While Maria knows that her friend didn't mean anything cruel, it took her aback. That's because with a statement like this, again, can sound like you think you know more about the marriage than your friend does—and worse, that you're taking his side. Remember, even if they seemed like the perfect couple, or he seemed like a top-notch spouse, outsiders (which includes you!) never know the whole story. If you feel badly for her ex, then don't lead with that. You might instead say, I'm sad for both of you, but keep the focus on her, says Reynolds. It's fine to be supportive of the guy, especially if you're close to them both. Just express your support separately and keep it neutral. Stick to statements like, I'm sorry you're going through this.
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