Watch Your Mouth
Things You Should Never Say to a Divorcing Friend
"At least you didn't have kids!"
Sally* heard this from friends—and it stung. "It's like they were saying that my divorce was 'easier.' Plus, the statement made me feel like more of a failure, because we weren't married long enough for children to be an issue." Though you're probably trying to put a positive spin on a bad situation, says Honaman, you're off the mark for two reasons. One, her divorce is undoubtedly painful to her, kids or no kids. And two, "You may be opening up a whole other wound if your friend had wanted kids and didn't have them before her marriage ended," says Reynolds. "Acknowledge her feelings, and later, if she seems ready, you can help her see the benefit of not having to deal with custody and co-parenting battles," says Honaman. But in the moment, keep it to yourself.
*Names have been changed.
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