What His Facial Hair Says About Him
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Hair Apparent1 of 15
By Natasha Burton
When it comes to expressing their personal style or state of mind, men often turn to their facial. Whether clean-shaven or full-bearded, rocking a goatee or sporting a 'stache, find out what his scruff (or lack thereof) says about him.
Full Beard2 of 15
This style signifies alpha-male-status, and George Clooney sure wears it nicely. "With his mane, the lion presides over the jungle as king. So does [the fully-bearded] man," says Jack Passion, author of The Facial Hair Handbook. "If the beard is solid, subtle and sharp you're looking at self-actualized enlightenment, the pinnacle of manhood."
Full Beard3 of 15
The full beard can vary, however, even ebb into mountain-man territory, as seen with Zach Galifianakis's lusher look. A full, natural beard can signify virility, shyness, mania or laziness depending on how its worn, according to Michael Ames, author of The World Beard and Moustache Championships.
Goatee4 of 15
Like the full beard, this style "can range from the generic to the world class. It all depends on a man's devotion to his face," says Ames. Don't tell Blair Underwood, but this look is better reserved for older men. "The goatee is a mature style ... so on a younger man, maybe he's saying he's got something to prove?" says Passion. "On an older guy, he's saying, 'I've earned the right to wear this,' and simply by wearing it, he has."
Overall Scruff5 of 15
Since Glo's fabulous Facebook friends told us they are partial to this style, as well, here's another gratuitous picture. So, what does this facial hair look say about the man sporting it? That he's hot. (Jon Hamm, thank you for confirming this highly scientific theory.)
Sideburns6 of 15
Sideburns could signal “a man finding himself,” says Passion. “Not yet willing to grow out a beard, [this guy has] begun to let his sideburns grow in to test the waters." The style also works well as an accent to that all-over scruff we like so much.
Chinstrap7 of 15
This could be one of the silliest, pointless forms of facial hair, and, we hate to say it, borderlines on icky. A man with a strap “probably spends an inordinate amount of time making other things that are fine to begin with look perverse, too. For instance, import cars,” says Passion. (Sorry, Chris Daughtry.)
Mustache8 of 15
If your guy is a mustache-man, like Jason Schwartzman sometimes is, he deserves major props. The 'stache is "the only difficult part of a beard, making it hard to eat, kiss, etc.," Passion notes. "For a man to voluntarily take on the hardest part of the game ... it's a sign [that he] bows to no challenge, least of which being the number of negative stereotypes that so unfairly haunt the mustache."
Mustache9 of 15
I mean, just look at Tom Selleck — that mustache is so fitting, so cool, so, well, sexy. Well-groomed and perfectly sized, he makes this facial hair style one to envy.
Handlebar 'Stache10 of 15
Upping the ante on the mustache is this style, for which a man embarks on a rigorous upkeep regimen. Guys, if you want to try this look for yourself (though we doubt anyone can rock it as well as Hulk Hogan), Ames advices: "Think styling products: beeswax, carpenter's glue or even parafin." And, he warns, "Stay away from open flames."
Flavor-Saver11 of 15
Also known as a soul patch, this form of facial hair is not for every man. "If worn alone, this guy is surely fond of the '90s," says Passion. "With another style, like a mustache for instance, the flavor-saver is an easy way to get bonus points." While we're not sure we're into the "soul" man, we appreciate the dedication it must take to trim and maintain that tiny patch of hair. The Boss is working it.
The Combo12 of 15
Don't feel too bad, though, Joe. Leonardo DiCaprio still uses a similar technique to mask his youthfulness. And, as with pretty much all things Leo does, we like it.
Mutton Chops13 of 15
“When done right, massive chops can be regal. When done wrong, few things look as much like a dead animal on your face,” says Ames. In terms of the man spotting the chops, as Lemmy Kilmister does: “Assume he's detail oriented, because to keep any style like this groomed, it takes work. This man is also not afraid to let it grow and express his wild side,” Passion says.
Embellished14 of 15
Thanks to Johnny Depp, the notion of braiding, dreading or even beading one's facial hair could be considered kinda sexy — if only on him. “Unless you're at a pirate party or a Renaissance faire, each bead represents another foot of distance you should keep [away from this guy]," says Passion. However, if you are at such a gathering, “this is the guy you want to be partying with.”
Clean-Shaven15 of 15
But, we must ask, what about the men who choose to forgo the facial hair entirely? As much as we love kissing a scruffy man, we don't particularly enjoy the skin irritation that often goes with it. So, yeah, I guess we'd have no problem smooching Tyson Beckford.
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