When To Keep Mum

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One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your hubby that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don't watch your mouth, then sometimes the ugly truth comes out in hurtful—not helpful—ways. Though you may have legitimate concerns to express or issues to bring up, doing so in a harsh manner can be damaging in the long term, to both your husband's feelings and your relationship. According to Judy Ford, psychotherapist and author of Every Day Love: The Daily Art of Caring for Each Other, "Speaking kindly is a skill that couples have to learn. Everyone feels battered by life and the outside world. You shouldn't feel that way at home." Here are nine statements that you should never utter to your significant other—and the words that you should try instead.

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"You're just like your father."

"This is just a no-no," says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love. "It's nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family." If you're about to spout a criticism like this, then stop and think about what's behind it. Maybe your father-in-law is the kind of guy who never cleans up after himself, and your husband's habit of leaving dirty dishes around the house is getting to you. According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as "Hon, when you're done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink?" That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process.

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