Why I Cheated On My Husband
5 Unfaithful Women Explain How You Can Learn From Their Mistakes
"We began to resent each other."
When Vanessa Myers*, 28, married her husband six years ago, they both couldn't wait to have children, but after their wedding day, something changed for her. "I started to really love my job, and kids didn't seem to fit into the picture," she says. Her husband was hurt by her change of heart and began to resent her. "We started fighting a lot, and I resented him for resenting me, and we were just constantly hurting each other," she says. "One night I caught him trying to slip off the condom and that was pretty much the end of our sex life." Ultimately, the lack of intimacy caused Vanessa to cheat. "I met a guy online and we dated for about a year," she says. "It ended when my husband caught me." Vanessa and her husband agreed to seek therapy separately and together, and were able to save their marriage. "The biggest lesson I learned was that if I was unhappy in my marriage, my husband was only 50 percent to blame. [Having] an affair gave me the courage to ask for what I wanted in my marriage," she says.
What You Can Learn: While what her husband did may be shocking, the fact that there was unaddressed anger in the relationship created fertile ground for an affair, says Silverman. "Coupled with the lack of sexual intimacy, there was nothing left to hang a relationship on," he says. Even though the affair helped Vanessa learn some valuable lessons and the relationship was ultimately saved, Silverman stresses the importance of open and honest communication in a relationship as a way for a couple to stay connected—before one of the spouses seeks comfort or intimacy outside the marriage.
ON WOMAN'S DAY: 10 Things Husbands Should Never Do
More On MSN
- All the Essentials for Your Summer Road-Trip
- The Best White Jeans for Summer
- New Girls'-Night Trend: Naked Photo Shoots
- 10 ways to look younger right now
- 9 habits of highly creative people
- 10 Secrets of Healthy Relationships
- Glo's Latest Obsession: Wedding Finds