Why I Cheated On My Husband

"He was unfaithful first."

Larie Norvell had only been married about a year when she found out that her husband had cheated on her. "I was very angry, but I was also very hurt, because I felt like I wasn't enough for him—like there was something I wasn't doing for him as his wife, which is why he felt the need to go outside of our marriage," says the 33-year-old. That jumble of mixed emotions was the impetus for her affair. "I cheated on him, mostly for revenge. But in retrospect, it was also because I wanted validation. I wanted to know that I was still desirable to other men," she says. Once her affair was discovered, the couple separated for a few months—but then began to seek counseling and was able to salvage the marriage.

What You Can Learn: Retribution is a common feeling when someone has been betrayed, says Silverman. "Anger can be quite powerful in clouding one's judgment," he says, which is why he urges any couple dealing with infidelity to seek counseling. Fortunately for Larie, her relationship endured the double deception. "The biggest lesson we've learned through all the struggles in 14 1/2 years is that we are enough for each other," she says.

*Some names have been changed to protect identity.