Why You're Not Married...Yet

ELLE: And how do you respond?

TM: My response is that giving love advice is almost like using the twelve-step model. You wouldn't take a group of alcoholics and put them in a room with a bunch of teetotalers and say, "Teach me how to stop drinking," would you? No. Instead, you're in a room with people who have the exact same problem, and who can share with one another from a place of mutual experience. There's a sense of trust. Also, people assume I had bad marriages; I didn't. I married two really wonderful men, but at the time, I was not a woman who could be married. I was limited by my own shortcomings, shortcomings that needed to be addressed, and that's part of what I talk about in my book.

ON ELLE: Surprising Little Things That Can Improve Your Marriage